— Julia Serano, Excluded: Making Feminist and Queer Movements More Inclusive, p 28-9 (via bisexual-books)
In your life, you may meet or know people who use a different name than they were born with.
- Don’t ask what that dead name is.
- Don’t use the dead name if you happen to know it.
- If you accidentally use the dead name, apologize profusely and do everything you can to make sure you don’t screw it up again.
The is a reason the person you’re talking to uses a different name now.
Her response was, “Oh, she’s so cute! What’s her name?” I replied, “He’s a boy, and his name is Rowan.”
And she immediately apologized, corrected herself, and used the right pronouns from then on. Totally no big deal at all.
If this is literally that fucking easy to do with a CAT, for Pete’s sake, why do people act like it’s so hard to do with trans people?!
If a trans woman is telling you that a term you’re using is misgendering her and offending her, here’s how you properly argue against her:
- you don’t
- you are wrong
- you are misgendering her
- stop it